A kind of excited rant about cinematography and my passions and frustrations. Hence any awful grammar

The more I study cinematography the more I realise how much I want to shoot with black and white! I wanted to shoot black and white to match the feeling of and style of the woman I want to represent in the film. But I also wanted to show my passion old cinema really almost all cinematography styles started with black and white with most things done before colour film came around. Of course these have been adapted. But the reason I want to shoot black and white is how different it is to shooting colour it takes more of an eye to consider light. I think one of the things I and people take advantage of is we now have wonderful HD cameras that can capture low light with wonderful images but it can cheapen or lessen the need to light or consider light. We can simply bump up the ISO and get detail in the image. But for me when shooting in black and white we can't get away with it. We need to consider depth and tone and light and shadow far more in my opinion. And my passion for this really struck when I watched a documentary called "vision of light the art of cinematography". Seeing the early cinematographers look at light, shadows, and make the camera do what they want to do by literally manufacture it do get other issues. I love this and how so many of these early cinematographers pushed the boundaries and make and discover new techniques to constantly push it. And this project has started to become more and more about honouring them and the pioneering techniques they made in the era I want to portray. It's hard because I want to consider so many options and spend so much time looking at the lighting for this. And I know student films don't work like this. But I have such a desire to constantly push myself to explore light and make something visually exciting from a cinematographers point of view. I find myself getting very frustrated because I am never happy with anything i do. And although it frustrates me I am proud I feel this way to never be happy with anything means I want to always push myself to learn more to get better results but I just want this piece to show my passion for lighting and cinematography even if it doesn't turn out great I just want people to see and realise this. I have already told everybody on set that we won't be approaching the piece with a half arsed approach to lighting. I want people to appreciate it like i do and to spend time with it and consider it to make it look like I want it to. I know I rant and I know all of this may seem barely understandable but I want to vent my frustrations with things like not being able to rely on actors or get the time to shoot the way I want or the worry of considering shooting using a generator to light outside and not be interrupted. It's just a case of wanting to do things in a more professional way and I realise that isn't viable while in university but I pushes and inspire me to learn and work more so I feel I can go into set and see and feel the lighting I want and know exactly how I am going to do it. I don't feel like that now I feel like I'm always trying to figure something new out to get what I want but it's hard as this can only change with experience and learning, unfortunately it's very hard to find places to learn other than books when really I just want somebody who know their stuff who I can watch work and ask questions and learn from. It's all a dream but one I want to push myself to achieve.